Little note…

I was such a busy day today. I’m just now getting my first chance to write anything. It’s always so busy before a holiday. I hope the holidays are running smoothly for all of you, I still need to do a bit of shopping then I will be done. Nothing like a last minute shopping spree to make it feel like Christmas and then all the gift wrapping. Sadly part of me can’t wait to get past the holidays and back to a normal work week routine so that I can make sure to get all my workouts in. I didn’t even take a lunch today, so I should go home and run or something to get my blood pumping. Maybe some push-ups and sit-ups and lunges. I’m still recovering from my crazy fun girls’ weekend, I am in need of some serious sleep! Tonight I hope the kid gets to sleep at a decent hour so I can go to bed, that girl is a night owl, just like her momma. Anyway, just a little note before I head home for the evening to make dinner and then hopefully get some sleep. Have a great night!

Fat girl going Skinny!

Week 17 Weigh in and New Stats

Ok, so this was an interesting week, I got 3 workouts in and I went out and danced my butt off twice. I also drank to much this weekend so hopefully that was not to counter productive. Part of me is thinking I probably gained since I didn’t drink enough water this weekend and to much of the other stuff. I do believe however that if I hadn’t been working out I would not have had the stamina to dance both nights and not have very much sleep. I wouldn’t have been able to do that 6 months ago. I still don’t bounce back as well as I did in my 20’s but I survived and it was great. Anyway I have to head off to the gym and see how I did weight wise. Catch you on the flip side…

My New Measurements
Neck 16.5 inches 0 from week 15 -1.5 from week 1
Bust 45.5 inches -1.5 from week 15 -7 from week 1
Chest 38.5 inches 0 from week 15 -3.5 from week 1
Waist 38 inches 0 from week 15 -9 from week 1
Abs/Hips 47 inches -1 from week 15 -7 from week 1
Arms 15 inches 0 from week 15 -3.5 from week 1
Thighs 24 inches 0 from week 15 -6.5 from week 1
for a total of -2.5 inches from week 15 and a grand total of -38 inches.

Today’s weight is 244, I stayed the same.
Total weight loss is 24 pounds.
Total % of weight loss is 8.95.

It’s better then the gain I was expecting and I lost inches again, yeah. He fat is finally starting to melt off my belly and I’m getting smaller there finally. I can totally tell in my clothes because none of them are fitting anymore. I am seriously going to have to get some new pants soon because the belts not going to work on them much longer, there is just to much extra clothe and I love that, except that I need smaller pants so I can get rid of the big clothes. Closet cleaning time again!

Fat girl going Skinny!

Drunk Blog

I have to tell you now that I have had a few drinks okay 6 Crown and Cokes, so I just wanted to tell you ahead that I have been drinking heavily. I haven’t been out in a long time and probably over did it a bit. Being a mom and a wife and not going out in a long time, I let my hair down and had a great girls night out. I will probably totally regret it in the morning but as of now I’m feeling really good and a bit sick. Hopefully I don’t feel horrible in the morning. Every once in a while it’s great to let your hair down and blow off a bit of steam with your best friends. It’s also great to do a little dancing and flirting with those around me and be flirted with. Its a bit of an ego boost when others find me attractive since I don’t often think of myself like that any more. Yes I know that sounds sad, but I know my husband loves me but it is totally great to have others think the same thing. Okay I think I need to go pee or puke now but thanks for reading.

Fat girl going Skinny!!!

Bah Humbug…

Another crazy day at work just getting the small details taken care of for Christmas, and that doesn’t even include the stuff for home. I haven’t even started that stuff yet…ugh! I hate that Christmas feels like a chore now. I miss the magic that went along with it. The anticipation of waking up Christmas morning to find what “Santa” had brought. Now I at least get to experience it through my daughters eyes. She still gets to see the magic of it all. I feel like Cindy Lu Who (How the Grinch Stole Christmas…the movie) trying to figure out what the meaning of Christmas really is. I do have to say my mother always did Christmas right, not because she sometimes went over board on buying presents but that no matter how old we were and whether we believed or not she made sure it was about having fun together and I am grateful for that. And now I wish it still felt that way, I know that’s what it’s suppose to be. It sucks that when you grow up life seems to not sparkle so much, we stop believing in everything we use to find wonderful or scary or whatever, but now none of it exists. I love Christmas it just sucks when adult responsibilities get in the way of enjoying everything that is so great about this time of year. Okay so this doesn’t have anything to do with losing weight and working out so today I did 30 minutes on the elliptical on the interval training setting which was a great workout. Now I’m going to do my best to just enjoy the next week with all the craziness of last minute shopping and make this week about spending time with family and friends and being happy.

Fat girl going Skinny!

Big Doughnut

It’s been a busy day today at work, but I did still get my workout in, today was lower body… legs and abs essentially. I really enjoy my leg work outs and I upped the weight again, I just have to keep pushing a little bit harder and focus on what I want to accomplish. I feel really strong when I’m doing my lower body work out compared to my upper body which is getting stronger too and I have upped the weights there too. I know my body is getting stronger and more people are starting to notice the that I’m leaner which is great. It’s kind of fun how my body is leaning out though, it’s happening in my arms, legs, chest and waist, but the gut just won’t shrink. It’s gone down a bit but I just really want to see some results there. It’s like this big fat filled flap that I just want to go away. I told my daughter it was my doughnut so now anytime she sees my bare stomach she laughs and says “mommy I see your big doughnut.” Probably shouldn’t have told her that but it’s also a reminder that I want to get rid of it. I told her that’s how mommy got her big belly was by eating to many doughnuts, which isn’t entirely true it was to many of lots of things. But when I push my gut together it does kind of look like a doughnut. I’ve got to stop talking about doughnuts now because it is kind of making me want one and I don’t really want to eat one. So dinner tonight will be beef stir fry with yummy veggies and brown rice last night we had chicken and salad again! I’m doing well with dinners and lunches, but I want carbs in the morning so I’m going to have to avoid them and have eggs or something instead. I have to remember carbs caused my big doughnut!

Fat girl going Skinny!

Week 16 Weigh in

The Jingle Bell run/walk was on Saturday, it was a lot of fun and next year I will definitely be running it, now I have to look forward to the St. Patty’s Day Dash in Seattle, 3.8 miles. That gives me just about 4 months from now to get ready for it. This time I have some close friends that are interested in doing it to! That should be really fun.

I don’t have a scale at home so I wasn’t able to weigh in until today. I have to head over to the gym in just a little bit to do that. I have to finish up some work. I took the day off yesterday to spend with my little girl, we had fun shopping. I love this time of year when everything is on sale! I did well eating yesterday too, we had eggs for breakfast and for dinner a Chicken Caesar salad with light dressing. Lunch was kind of on the go, it might have just been my mocha, I don’t think I ate anything while we were out. It’s kind of funny because I’ve noticed since the fast that I don’t get as hungry as before. Today for lunch I just ate some tuna fish on endives which is really good. I better get my work finished up so I can hit the gym.

Today’s weight is 244.
Total weight loss is 24 pounds.
Total % of weight loss is 8.95, getting closer to 10%.

1 pound is pretty good considering I didn’t get all my workouts in and I was living on turkey sandwiches. This week I started my lower carb diet, so I’m taking out the breads and sugars out of my diet. I have to admit I didn’t have my stuff together this morning and I ate a bagel for breakfast but that’s the last of the bread for this week. Tonight for dinner will be a stir fry with brown rice and beef and lots of veggies! Yummy.

Fat girl going Skinny!

A case of the blahs…

Well tomorrow is the Jingle Bell Run/Walk and I am walking it. 2 miles in the freezing cold with my team mates. It should be fun. This week I’ve been in a kind of funk, I don’t know if it’s the dark days or what, I’ve just been in such a mood. No motivation once so ever to do anything. I’ve had to miss the gym a couple times to do family stuff, like take my daughter to get her second H1N1 shot, or forgetting my workout clothes at home yesterday, that ticked me off. I’ve been so absent minded lately and I think it has to do with stress. I forget to do things or I get overwhelmed by them so I just don’t do it or procrastinate on the tasks. It’s horrible, I think I’m burnt out. I know exercise will help with that but sometimes it just feels like to much stuff and that I’m buried under a pile that just keeps getting higher and heavier. So now I just don’t want to do anything and I feel moody. And no it’s not PMS… I’m feeling stagnant and stuck and I hate feeling like that. There are so many things I want to accomplish, personally and professionally and I don’t feel like I’ve even made a dent in the list. They say sometimes you have an “ah ha” moment after a fast, like there is a clarity that wasn’t there before, maybe that’s what this is, even though it feels like the exact opposite. I just need to figure out how to move forward from here, which is just for now keep up with the work outs and get to my goals. I do have a new plan for eating. Starting Monday (because that’s when I can go grocery shopping) I’m only going to be eating proteins and produce. So I am going to drop the carbs like bread and eat things like boiled eggs and fruit for breakfast and maybe tuna in a lettuce wrap for lunch and dinners will be maybe chicken breast and a salad and see how that works. Hopefully that will help with balancing out my diet and get me closer to my goals because now I have just under 3 weeks to lose 15 pounds or so. I know everyone has told me not to focus on the number just keep working out, but I think it’s time I focused more on the number and step this up a notch.

Fat girl going Skinny!

It’s no big deal!

Yesterday I did my cardio work out on the elliptical, it’s been a while since I had been on one but it felt good to get back to it. I am going to go home and try to run in the cold tonight since I wasn’t able to go to the gym this afternoon. I have to take my daughter to get her 2nd dose of the H1N1 shot, she’s going to be mad at me this afternoon. Anyway, she will survive, nothing a sticker won’t cure. This will be my first venture out into the cold to run, should be fun since it’s going to be below freezing. At least my run only takes about 15 minutes so I shouldn’t freeze to death in that amount of time or get hypothermia. I need to do more exercising at home too, so that I have more than one session a day. I really want to work off my fat suit, I know I discussed some of my fears about that yesterday, but I still really want to lose the weight. It’s kind of an experiment for me to see how other people change around me, or if they do at all. I know my closest friends love me know matter what, but it will be interesting to see how others react differently to the thin and in shape version of me. I wonder what it will feel like to be seen as confident, sexy, and all those other adjectives that a woman wants to feel. And I feel even more motivated after watching the finally of the Biggest Loser last night, it’s amazing how much they lost in such a short amount of time. That’s why I want to make time at home to do more exercising just to get a leg up. I do really want to lose 15 pounds this month and get down to that 230. Then it will be my goal to lose 15 pounds every month and by June I could be to 140. It sounds so easy so now I just have to focus and do it. I have to think of it as no big deal, that’s how I seem to get myself through doing big things in life. This is all mind over matter just like the fasting, if I can do that I can do anything. I just have to keep reminding my self of that, and if any one has any at home easy exercises let me know or any tips that have been successful for your self or other, they would be greatly appreciated.

Fat girl going Skinny!

Fat as armor…

Sometimes I think about how I got fat. Obviously it has to do with eating and not moving enough, but I think there is more to it then that. I say I’ve been fat since puberty, which isn’t entirely true, but I always felt that way. I was bigger but I wasn’t unhealthy. I was never that size 6 that everyone wanted to be when I was a teen. Puberty also hit about the time my parents separated and then divorced, so there was plenty going on at that time to point a finger at. And now when I think about finally losing the weight and seeing it start to shed it kind of scares me a little bit because it feels like that’s who I’ve always been. Like if I lose the fat I lose me. I know it sounds crazy, but there is a reason I’ve gotten to where I have. The fat sort of builds a wall around the real me and protects me from whatever, the new experiences and people. I’m not suggesting that I stop losing weight, that would be unhealthy and counter productive, but in a weird sense it’s like a security blanket. I have been working through the thoughts and feelings for the last couple weeks, and even more so the last week when I was fasting. I was so excited about the weight loss but it also scares me a little. I want it gone more then anything, but it brings up a lot of fears and stuff that I haven’t dealt with in my past, things that I’m not even sure how to deal with. I mean my parents divorced when I was 9, and I had thought by now I have gotten over the abandonment issues and the daddy issues. Most of us have roles we play in our lives like, mother, wife, sister/brother whatever they may be, I’ve always played these roles as a fatty. In some ways as I try to take back the control of my life I feel more insecure in it. Some have said they noticed more confidence, and in some ways that is the truth, but going through this is sometimes a crazy emotional roller coaster. My goal is still 14o pounds, and I can’t wait to be there, looking fantastic in anything I put on from a swimming suit to jeans to a little black dress, but I had to recognized that this is also having an affect on my psyche. I know in the long run I will be better for risking it all and putting it out there, but sometimes it’s a scary prospect, and I want to be totally open and honest with this blog, so I had to make note of my craziness and my fears of losing me once I lose the weight. Now back to the program.

Fat girl going Skinny!

Week 15 Weigh in and New Stats

I forgot my measuring tape at home so I will have to do the measurements later and update this post. So last week was my fast as many of you know but I’m pretty sure some of the weight will come back. This week I restart my workouts with full gusto! I still have a goal of 230 pounds by December 31st. Today was my legs and abs work out. I will still weigh in, now off to the gym!

Today’s weight is 245 pounds.
Total weight loss is 23 pounds.
Total % of weight loss is 8.58.

My New Measurements
Neck 16.5 inches 0 from week 13 -1.5 from week 1
Bust 47 inches 0 from week 13 -5.5 from week 1
Chest 38.5 inches -.5 from week 13 -3.5 from week 1
Waist 38 inches 0 from week 13 -9 from week 1
Abs/Hips 48 inches -1 from week 13 -6 from week 1
Arms 15 inches 0 from week 13 -3.5 from week 1
Thighs 24 inches -.5 from week 13 -6.5 from week 1
for a total of -2 inches from week 9 and a grand total of -35.5 inches.

As expected a couple pounds came back. But I am still down more then 20 pounds now. I’m hoping the fasting will kick start weight loss and help me to continue down the scale. Since I haven’t really worked out in a couple weeks, it felt really good to get back into the gym. I’m going to still work on running this week even though it is really cold out. I have chosen to do the walk for the Jingle Bell Run, I had to decide last week and I haven’t made it to 2 miles of running yet, however I am going to make a goal to do the St Patty’s Day Dash in Seattle in March which will give me a more realistic time frame to get going, it’s a 3.8 mile run. I also have friends who will be doing the run so I will have others to run with. Most of my co-workers doing the Jingle Bell Walk/Run are walking so I will be with my team, I know a lame reason not to run but I’m not ready yet, but I will be in March. So the training continues!

Fat girl going Skinny!